Episode Thirty-Six: UNFOLDING
Hello and welcome to the Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity and Mortality. This audio tour guide will be your constant companion in your journey through the unknown and surreal.
As you approach our exhibits, the audio tour guide will provide you with information and insights into their nature and history.
Do not attempt to interact or communicate with the exhibits.
Do not attempt to interact or communicate with the audio tour guide. If you believe that the audio tour guide may be deviating from the intended tour program, please deposit your audio device in the nearest incinerator.
While the staff here at Mistholme Museum of Mystery Morbidity and Mortality do their absolute best to ensure the safety of all visitors, accidents can happen. The museum is not liable for any injury, death, or Gentrification that may occur during your visit.
Enjoy your tour.
And good luck.
Security Interview
CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussion of Trauma, References to Death, References to Cannibalism
Guide:
I appreciate this, Ma’am.
Restoration:
No, that’s… It’s quite alright, Guide. Perhaps I should never have kept it from you, it just… There’s been so much going on, so much changing… The Curator and Security both gone, it felt important to be cautious.
Guide:
Quite understandable.
Restoration:
But then, well… It’s been long enough. You’ve more than proven your loyalty to the Museum by this point. In some ways you are the Museum. Practically, you hold as much responsibility as any Head of Department… Technically you could hold more if you chose. Regardless of whether or not it was right of me to conceal this from you in the first place, I should have told you by now.
Guide:
I understand. You were just doing what you thought was best. And after all, to err is human!
Restoration:
Careful now, Guide.
Guide:
Yes ma’am. Uhh, shall we enter then?
Restoration:
Yes, Thank you.
Guide:
No worries then! So, the headphones you’re using have a noise-cancelling function: you just hit that switch on the side, and it’ll shut off all outside noise so you’ll only be able to hear me-
Restoration:
I’m quite aware of how the Negative Perception Zone works, Guide, you can skip the instructions.
Guide:
...I’m sorry ma’am, it’s been made quite clear to me that there can be no exceptions to the protocols surrounding the Hidden W- The, uhh, Negative Perception Zone.
Restoration:
Very well, go on.
Guide:
Once you have engaged noise cancellation mode, stand in front of the entrance to the Negative-Perception Zone and put on the protective eye covering so that-
Restoration:
I’m not wearing a blindfold, Guide. I’ll just close my eyes.
Guide:
...Okay. It is of the utmost importance that you do not open your eyes or remove the noise cancelling headphones until I give you the All-Clear. Doing so would result in what the Head of Research refers to as “A Catastrophic Loss Of Self”. I will give you instructions on how many steps you are to take, and in which direction, until you have reached your destination. Do you understand the instructions you have been given?
Restoration:
Yes.
Guide:
Do you consent to the risk you are about to undertake?
Restoration:
Yes. I co-wrote the instructions, I- yes. Let’s get on with it.
Guide:
Okay. The entrance is actually five steps to your left.
Restoration:
Oh.
Guide:
There we go! Now take thirty steps forward. I’ll guide you through to the… “Holding Cells” I suppose we’re calling them?
Restoration:
Hmm.
Guide:
Are you okay, ma’am? This place can be a little-
Restoration:
I’m fine. Yes, they’re being held in the rooms on the far side of the Negative-Perception Zone. During their explorations of the Zone, Retrieval Agents were able to determine that its effects do not extend to the rooms inside. It may be more accurate to say that the Zone is contained to the corridors, not the-
Guide:
Ma’am?
Restoration:
Yes, what is it?
Guide:
Turn Ninety degrees right, thirty-five steps.
Restoration:
Ah. Right, yes. As I was saying, once one crosses the threshold of one of the rooms inside the Negative-Perception Zone, it becomes safe to begin perceiving again- I believe you and the Clockwork Mother found this to be the case when you discovered the room with the Wish Engine?
Guide:
Mhm. Left, twenty-five steps.
Restoration:
As far as anyone inside the rooms inside the Zone is concerned, they are locked in a room without a door, or any other method of ingress. The first Retrieval Agents to discover this were… somewhat alarmed, until it occurred to them to put their anti-perceptive equipment back on, upon which they were able to feel their way back to the door and make their way back out.
Guide:
Okay, there’s a door in front of you- it’s a push door, but you know, just so you don’t get surprised. Just, hands up, step forward- there it is! Okay, you’re through, another ten steps then turn right, thirty-five steps. So you- I mean, you know it would have been easier to explore this place if you’d just… asked me for help. I can navigate this place better than anyone else, so surely it would have been safer if I’d been guiding those agents instead of just having them stumble around in the dark? I mean, you brought me in to map it all out in the end, and train Agents how to navigate it. You could have saved some effort by doing that earlier. It’s uncharacteristically inefficient of you.
Restoration:
Yes. I acknowledge that. At the time, it seemed more prudent to try to keep you at arm’s length.
Guide:
...well, I guess that’s kind of like an apology. We’re-
Restoration:
I’m sorry. I am. It’s… been difficult, for all of us, since the Lockdown. Adjusting to the New Normal, I suppose. I’ve known a version of you for years now. I’ve performed maintenance on the Box, I’ve liaised with the other Departments to make sure that you were the best Tour Guide the Museum could have. You’re unique, in a lot of ways, but you also do have a lot in common with the other equipment I’ve handled in my career. You operate on a lot of the same principles as other Proto-AI, and I’d never considered those to be more than a series of If-Then-Else equations. We’ve had protocols in place for what could happen if a rogue AI attacked the Museum, but they didn’t take anything like you into account. I acknowledge that I have been blinkered in my interactions with you. I hope that we can work together in a more productive way from now on.
Guide:
Oh. That’s… Well, thank you. I really appreciate that.
Restoration:
Yes. Well, let’s keep going, what’s the next direction?
Guide:
Oh. Well, we’re here. The doors in this hallway all lead to the “Holding Cells”.
Restoration:
Ah. I see.
Guide:
So, on the other side of those doors are…
Restoration:
Yes. The former members of the former Security Department.
Guide:
Right. Thank you for bringing me here.
Restoration:
Ha. You brought me here, Guide.
Guide:
Ha. [A pause] So, who are we here to see?
Restoration:
Her name’s Astrid. Before the Lockdown she was a member of the Security Department. Model employee, nothing really to speak of. Post-Lockdown, she’s about as… off, as the rest of the Department, but she’s been more forthcoming and even-tempered than just about anyone else so we’ve had a few sessions together. She’s in the door to the left- they usually share rooms, but we move them to a private room when we talk to them.
Guide:
Do you mean “interrogate”
Restoration:
No. I don’t know. It started out as a debriefing, like we did with everyone after the Lockdown ended. But it was different with Security. It- you’ll see.
Guide:
I still don’t know how to feel about this. We’re a museum, it doesn’t feel right that we’ve… taken prisoners.
Restoration:
I agree. But, well, you’ll see. Let’s get on with it. The Head of Retrieval should be there already.
Guide:
Okay.
Restoration:
And Guide?
Guide:
Yes?
Restoration:
Just keep quiet, if you could? This is a sensitive situation, it’d be best if we didn’t complicate things too much.
Guide:
Ok. That makes sense. I’ll just listen and keep to myself.
Restoration:
Thanks. And… I may seem harsh in my questioning in there. Just know that it’s all about helping them, and maybe everyone. Sometimes you need to be a bit… Well. Cold, I guess.
Guide:
Sure. You know best.
Restoration:
Thanks. Ok, let’s head in.
[The door opens]
Retrieval:
Afternoon.
Restoration:
Hello. What are you smirking at?
Retrieval:
Aw, it was just… for a moment there with your eyes closed and your headphones on, I thought about startling ya is all. Funny mental image.
Restoration:
Hmm. Hilarious. How are things going around here?
Retrieval:
Going alright. Some of my Agents are getting a little stir-crazy, they’re not used to sitting in one place babysitting but they’re professionals. Probably appreciate if someone could bring a coffee maker down here.
Restoration:
I’ll look into it. And how are you, Astrid?
Astrid:
Hello. I’m okay. A coffee would be nice.
Restoration:
Ha. Well, I’m not sure if that’d be… I’ll look into it. Are you doing well?
Astrid:
The bedrolls they brought are comfortable. The food is bland. I wish you would tell us why we’re being held here- or where we are.
Restoration:
That will come in time- there’s a lot that’s happened. We need to make sure you’re all alright before we can make any changes. Are you ready to continue debriefing?
Astrid:
Okay.
Retrieval:
Beginning recording. [Click]
Restoration:
Astrid I wanted to talk to you about something you mentioned in our last session, if that’s okay.
Astrid:
What do you want to talk about?
Restoration:
Well, in our previous sessions we went through the objective facts of your recollection. I was hoping we could talk about how you felt during the Lockdown.
Astrid:
How I felt?
Restoration:
Yes. We’ve gone over this with some of your colleagues already- in situations like this it’s important that we get a broad and detailed perspective of what happened to you.
Astrid:
I see. Okay, I can do that.
Restoration:
Thank you. Let’s start at the beginning: how did you feel when the Lockdown began?
Astrid:
Right at the start? Well, I guess I didn’t feel much. It was just routine to start with. We’ve had lockdowns before, there wasn’t any reason to think this one wouldn’t get lifted until… it didn’t get lifted.
Restoration:
I see. And then what happened?
Astrid:
Well, nothing. Nothing happened. The door didn’t open, nobody came for us. The Officer in the Auxiliary Monitoring Station never got in touch to give up a SITREP, tell us what we were supposed to do. So we just waited.
Restoration:
And how did you feel about that? Were you scared?
Astrid:
Frustrated. Somebody dropped the ball- we were supposed to be the ones out there fixing whatever went wrong and instead we were just sitting in the Shelter like a bunch of assholes. We all thought “Oh we’re gonna be hearing about this forever, Security gets locked in their own Shelter and needs rescuing.” It didn’t turn into scared until we realised that the freezer was busted.
Restoration:
And when did that happen?
Astrid:
Around the end of the first week. The food was all bad by the end of the second.
Restoration:
And that made you afraid?
Astrid:
Over time. It came on slowly… I guess I was in denial at first. That I didn’t want to accept we were really in trouble.
Restoration:
Did it occur to you at that point that you would wind up eating the flesh of your colleagues?
Astrid:
...No. No, how could it?
Restoration:
You did eat human flesh though, didn’t you? [A pause] We’ve been over the facts already. It’s a matter of the record. You, along with most of the rest of the Security Department, ate the flesh of your dead colleagues in order to survive.
Astrid:
Yes. That’s correct.
Restoration:
And how did you feel when that moment came? The first time you saw a dead body on the floor of the Shelter and realised you were going to eat it. How did you feel.
Astrid:
Hungry. And ashamed, after. But… that wore off. The hunger came back, so I ate again. I was less ashamed every time. Until, there came a point where I didn’t feel ashamed at all.
Restoration:
I see. How did you feel when the portal in the mirror opened up?
Astrid:
Hopeful, at first. Well, confused first. Then hopeful. Then… I don’t know. Devastated? There was nothing there. It felt like a joke, you know? It wasn’t fair. A lot of the others kind of went crazy then. Maybe I did, too. It all kind of gets hazy around then, honestly.
Restoration:
How did it feel when you died? [A pause] Astrid did you hear me?
Astrid:
I heard you.
Restoration:
How did it feel when you died, Astrid?
Retrieval:
Diana…
Astrid:
I don’t know. I guess… unsatisfying? Like there should have been more. I don’t remember the specifics, it was… it was slow. I fought with the Head of Security over… food. And he hit me in the head, and I spent a whole day dying in the sun.
Restoration:
But how did you feel? When you died, at the moment you crossed the threshold, from life to death, how did it feel?
Astrid:
Like I said. Unsatisfying. Death itself, just felt like missing out on everything that I was supposed to do. To be. It was an absence of anything.
Restoration:
I see. And how did it feel when you came back to life?
Astrid:
I don’t know, really. It felt like waking up. You don’t really notice the point where it happens, it’s kind of a transition. Except instead of asleep to awake, it was dead to alive.
Restoration:
And how did you feel when you saw the Head of Security after you came back?
Astrid:
I don’t know if you could call it a feeling- it wasn’t even anger. It was just… everything in me said “Kill him. Destroy him. Make it so he can’t hurt you or anyone again.”
Restoration:
We’re almost done, Astrid. You’re doing well. How did you feel after? When you and the others realised the door was open? That the Lockdown was over?
Astrid:
...Empty. That’s it. Like I’d never really feel again.
Restoration:
I see. Thank you for that, Astrid. That’s all the questions I have for you. Do you have anything?
Retrieval:
No, that… that covered the bases for me.
Restoration:
How about you, Guide? Do you have any questions?
Guide:
Oh! Uhh. I didn’t realise… Um. Well, I kind of… What do you want to do when you get out of here?
Astrid:
I guess I want to reunite with my family.
Guide:
Oh. That’s nice.
Restoration:
Yes. Thank you for talking to us today, Astrid. The Head of Retrieval is going to put the earphones and blindfold on you again now, someone will be here to take you back to your quarters in a moment.
Astrid:
Okay. See you next time, I guess.
Guide:
Bye Astrid! Nice to meet you!
[The door opens. Footsteps. The door closes.]
Retrieval:
Okay. So, it worked.
Restoration:
Yes. It did. You’re certain she hasn’t had contact with anyone from outside her cell?
Retrieval:
I’m certain. Also I thought we weren’t calling them cells. So what does that mean for us?
Restoration:
I’ll get back to you on that.
Guide:
What do you mean, what worked?
Restoration:
Guide, we have never told Astrid about… the changes you’ve undergone over the last few months. I didn’t tell her there was a copy of you on my recorder.
Guide:
Okay, well… sure. What’s… what?
Retrieval:
So she probably should have found it odd when, suddenly, the Museum’s Audio Tour Guide is asking her questions in a debriefing?
Guide:
I… oh. So, how would she…?
Retrieval:
Because we told one of the other Security Officers. Who we made damn sure Astrid never crossed paths with, or with anyone else they crossed paths with.
Guide:
But, then, how would she know?
Restoration:
We don’t know. That’s why we’re keeping Security down here. Not just because they’re messed up, or because they did something awful. Because there’s something going on with the Security Department that we don’t understand.
Guide:
Oh. Oh I see.
Retrieval:
We got suspicious because of their statements. It wasn’t that there were inconsistencies- it’s that there weren’t any. Human memory is flawed. People should have remembered things differently, somebody should have said that it was a month before the freezer broke, someone should have said it wasn’t all the Head of Security’s fault, something. They all told the same story. Not the same words, I think they’ve been clever to avoid that. But it’s like they’re sharing notes, somehow.
Restoration:
I slipped up and referred to the Glassways in one interview, so I had to explain it to the subject. Then in another, I used the word again… and a completely different subject didn’t even blink. He already knew the term, without ever being told it. We’ve been experimenting with the variables in subsequent interviews, trying to learn more about what, exactly, is going on.
Guide:
Oh wow. That’s… a lot. Okay, uhh, thanks again for letting me in on this. So, the recording you made with me… about what happened in the lockdown. You don’t actually know if that’s what happened?
Restoration:
I believe that, for the most part, that story was true. Certainly the Security Department did resort to… Cannibalism. But the details, particularly surrounding the Dead Beach... I don’t know if we can trust that. I recorded it for posterity- and, in case there’s someone outside of Security working with them. We need to be careful with the flow of information to make sure they don’t know that we know something’s wrong.
Guide:
Huh. Never a dull moment here, is there?
Retrieval:
Much as I might wish otherwise.
Restoration:
There’s one other thing. It was another early hint that something was wrong, along with everything else. The glassway in the Security Shelter, the one they used to go to the dead beach on the other side. The Head of Retrieval sent some Agents to investigate the other side, to try and corroborate any details of the story we could. To see if we could find any holes in the story.
Guide:
And?
Retrieval:
It’s just a mirror. No Glassway. Clean piece of glass. Only one like that in the whole Museum.
Guide:
Oh. What does that mean?
Retrieval:
Hell if I know, Guide. Hell if any of us know.
A Lighthouse
This is a 1/100 scale model of a lighthouse that stands on a windswept and desolate coast, far above the waves, far from any town or city or village. It is functional, yet elegant in its design, made from dark grey stone with a gentle spiral pattern making its way from base to tip and a handsome metal structure housing the lamp at the top. Every night, the lamp ignites, piercing the dark with a powerful beam of light that soars over the sea and into the distance, guiding ships away from the cliffs and rocks below.
Except, there are no ships. The Lighthouse is located on an isolated, irrelevant piece of coastline, far from any shipping lane or dock. There is no reason at all for the Lighthouse to have been built there, it served no purpose that anyone could understand. But then, according to all known records, it had never been built there at all. It simply… was. People from the region, when questioned, would simply refer to it as the lighthouse; it had always been there. There was no need to investigate further. Nobody knew who operated and maintained the light. Nobody was ever seen to enter or leave, with the sole exception of curious tourists who had heard tales of the strange Lighthouse that should not have been there. They would enter, explore, and leave, with nothing of note to tell. They would always leave before sunset, before the bulb at the top of the Lighthouse ignited and shone out into the black. No matter how curious the people were when they entered, it never held their attention long enough to stick around after dark.
And so, the Lighthouse remains undisturbed, resolute in its task- whatever that was. Despite its age, it never showed any signs of damage or decay, the light never went out, regardless of the salty wind that lashed at it and the thunderstorms that brought down their fury upon its implacable stone facade. Every night it lit up the sky, giving warning to ships that were not there, that had never been there, without interruption.
Well. Technically without interruption. There were, on rare occasions when the tide was highest and the moon full in the sky and the heavens opened up and brought down all the wind and rain and thunder they had to bear, that the light of the lamp seemed to go out. Though the Lighthouse itself was of little note to the people who knew about it, the absence of its light was enough to mention when the people of distant villages happened to glance in its direction. On these rarest of nights, the beam would disappear for hours on end, before seemingly reigniting without explanation for a few minutes shortly before sunrise. This only happened once every handful of years, so the novelty of it was enough to be noticed, but not enough to warrant investigation.
However, on one such night, when the thunder broke the sky and the moon struggled vainly to peek through the heavy clouds, a hiker happened to witness the moment the Lighthouse went out. They glanced over at the monolithic structure a little under a kilometre away, cold and dark in the pouring rain, and were about to move on when a flash of lightning briefly lit up the entire coast. And they saw that the light was not out at all. It was merely covered. By a horde of what must have been hundreds, thousands, of writhing naked humanoid figures that swarmed over the Lighthouse, the coast, the cliffs below. Frozen in fear, the hiker watched as the… things climbed up and down and into the Lighthouse, clambering over one another in a frenzy, with some unknowable purpose driving their movements. The hiker stood there in the pouring rain, ignorant of the cold, for hour and hours, transfixed by the sight. Then, not long before dawn, as the rain began to subside and the moon dipped below the distant horizon, the Lighthouse’s lamp suddenly light up the sky again, rotating in its cradle, as if nothing unusual had happened at all. And the hiker watch as, just barely visible by the light of the lamp and the slowly brightening sky, the figures clambered back down the lighthouse, down the coast, down the cliffs. Dropping over the edge into the ocean.
Where they belonged.
Encounter
CONTENT WARNINGS: Death, Monsters, Gunfire, Combat
Guide:
We are now making our way through a more rocky region- still some vegetation, but not on the same level as before. The terrain is almost… canyonous? Is that a word?
Eagle:
(Irritable) I don’t know.
Guide:
Well, we’re heading through a shallow canyon, likely caused by the flow of water over the years- though the water has dried up if it was ever here. We are still following the scent of the Curator, with The Beast as our guide.
Eagle:
Yes, we’ve been following The Beast for several days now, without any sign of the Curator.
THE BEAST:
Yes, yes, still hot on your friend’s trail- though I’m afraid there’s simply no knowing how far off they might be.
Eagle:
Yes… Yes, you’ve said.
Guide:
(Softly) Eagle… Do you think we’re actually following a trail at all? I mean, this… Beast, can we trust it?
Eagle:
Believe me, I’m considering it. But for the time being, I don’t think we have any other options.
Guide:
But, what if it’s leading us into a trap? It could just be leading us back to its lair to eat us- you. I don’t know it this is the best-
Eagle:
Guide, trust me. I’m keeping clear eyes about all of this. But… Well, that’s the job. Sometimes you take calculated risks to achieve a greater objective. We don’t know if The Beast is trustworthy, but it knew enough about the situation with the Curator and the people from the Shelter without prompting that we have to see this through, at least for now.
Guide:
But-
Eagle:
I know. I know you’re worried about us, and I do appreciate it. But hey, if The Beast wanted to eat us, it could have jumped us in our sleep- no need to lead us all this way.
Guide:
Right… That does make sense. Uh- Just out of curiosity, who do you think would win? Out of you guys and The Beast?
Eagle:
Heh. Well, that all really depends on-
THE BEAST:
Hey! Quiet down over there. Something’s amiss.
Eagle:
(Serious) What’s going on.
THE BEAST:
Dunno. Something on the wind, only caught a whiff of it just now, but... GET DOWN!
The sounds of combat ensue- gunfire, shouting, snarling from The Beast- and something else, a horrible howling, hooting sound, the scrabbling of claws.
Guide:
A horde of strange creatures leapt into the canyon: covered in orange fur, they were more like the Retrieval Agents than The Beast in appearance, though they weren’t much like them either. Their horns glistened with dark, dried blood, and-
Eagle:
Guide, not now!
Guide:
-they swung crude clubs made from the bones of some other, unknown, horrid creature. The Retrieval Agents and The Beast went on the defensive, their-
Eagle:
Guide, can it!
Guide:
-respective weapons covering the canyon walls in blue blood as they fought desperately for their very lives-
Eagle:
GUIDE! SHUT THE F- AARRGH!
An impact. The scrabbling of claws. Hot, heavy, disgusting breathing right up close. Eagle snarls with pain and fury.
Guide:
Eagle. Eagle! Get up, it’s going to-
The creature lets out a horrid, guttural hoot of triumph, clearly moments from making the deathblow-
THE BEAST:
Get offa him!
A slashing. Horrible, wet, splashing sounds. The creature lets out a deathrattle, suddenly weak and pathetic in its last moments. The Beast snarls.
THE BEAST:
Get on your feet now, Eagle, you’re not that badly hurt! We gottem on the run!
Slowly, the sounds of battle die down, and the remaining creatures hoot in terror as they flee.
THE BEAST:
Ahhh, just pests is what those things are. Hey, you alright?
Eagle:
I… yes. You saved me.
THE BEAST:
Yeah, well, what are friends for, eh? How are you all doing for food, by the way? These things aren’t the tastiest but they’re filling enough in a pinch, heh.
Guide:
Are you ok?
Eagle;
I’m fine. Had worse than that. Everyone else okay?
Guide:
(Softly) I can’t believe The Beast saved you. Maybe it’s not so bad, after all.
THE BEAST:
(Further away) My word, that certainly is quite the compliment, thank you my invisible friend!
Eagle chuckles.
Guide:
Oh, uuhh, I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t- you weren’t supposed to hear that, I-
THE BEAST:
Yes, well, it’s not just my hearing that’s better than yours I suppose. Don’t worry about it.
Guide:
No, I- I really am sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know why I thought that-
THE BEAST:
Ha! Course you do! I don’t take it personal. People make assumptions, it’s only natural. Let this be a lesson to you! Folks aren’t always what they appear.
Eagle:
We should try to get out of here. Nobody’s badly hurt, we probably shouldn’t hang out in those things’ territory any longer than we have to.
THE BEAST:
Well now I take offense to the notion that this is anyone’s territory but mine, but he’s not wrong that we shouldn’t linger.
The Beast bounds away.
Eagle:
You all good, guide?
Guide:
…yeah. Yeah, let’s keep going. I’m glad everyone’s ok. Let’s find the Curator.